Let's start my story again. I think by the end of one year i can practically have a book fill with sad and depressing stories enough to drive even the most stable person to insanity.

Last nite, i wentout with a bunch of friends, not really a good groups coz the persons that i'm comfortable with are one only 4 out of the crowds of 9. Anyway, Lee, Tony's flat mate asked Jo to go grab some drinks so ended up the whole bunch of us just tacked along n we ended up in Star City cafe, which looked way too xpensive for well, .........actually for me personally.
Anyway, everybody sort of think along the same line i think as not long after we left the place and opt for Passion Flowers in Darling Harnour for ice cream but on the way put we met the next group lead by Mr.Tony of Course. So jo promised to come back later on after Passion Flowering with us. I decided to accompany her to walk the short distance back to Star City and the time @ dat time was 1 A.M in the morning but she doesnt give a damn coz what she wants usually that's what she will get, not matter what. Hail storm and rain!!!!

What made me sad if a couple of remarks during the night. Like when Anton said "pindah aza ama Song" then she just blurted out " Ga mau ah, bisa berantem tiap hari kali, ogah aza", i think it's not the sentence she said but the way she said that really caught me off guard. She was saying it like the mere idea is really gruesome n she rather sleep on the street rather than spend a time under one roof with me. The whole reaction really upset me or probably i was just reading too much into the line but yeah i think the whole reaction is a little too much for me. Then the time when she snapped at me and want me to hurry coz i was trying to take pictures of the night scene, while it's ok with others.

After i walked her to Star City, she said things like "gua bukan anak kecil lagi, gua bisa naik sendiri kok". I know that's so right but at the time i was thinking that i want to send her up n just finish my duty nicely, like making a nice ending. BUt she wont allow me!! so i went home. I got to Hyde park at 1:30 n guess what? not even an sms to ask wheather i survive the nite or wheather i did managed to catch a bus home. That's a very sad reality isnt it?Or am i hoping to much from a sister that i care so much?

Lord, i find this whole thing to be really tiring. She was still snappy when she met me yesterday at Market City but afterwards when we met Suryani, she was her old self again. Is it me or is it her?? i dont know anymore. I know i'm sounding very touchy here but well, who wont??? probably Jo seriuosly need me to dissappear from her life and know it will be up to me to figure out how. Yeah i think it all starts with me, it has to start with me. Sometimes i asked my heavenly Father, how can someone be treated like this and still care??? Am i losing my mind? why do i have to hold firmly to what i have promised? It is so very silly and tiring and dissappointing and pathetic.